Celebrity Apprentice 2 Finale: Joan Rivers Gets Hired by Trump

Celebrity Apprentice Finale Showdown
Annie Duke vs Joan Rivers
NBC 7/8c 5/10/2009

In a three hour Celebrity Apprentice dramathon finale, Donald Trump finally uttered the words...

"Joan Rivers, you're hired!"

Ok, now I'm not saying it was fixed or anything, but Joan Rivers has admitted to 'knowing' the people that Annie Duke works for. She has also stated that Annie Duke's 'people' are 'Mafia' people... are you following me here?!

All kidding aside, congratulations Joan Rivers and God's Love We Deliver. Winning an additional $250,000 in prize money from the Celebrity Apprentice.

Donald Trump milked the drama for all it was worth and even took it to a Jerry Springer level at one point. Pitting Dennis Rodman against Jesse James on live TV was not a good idea. No one won that battle and in another 3 seconds the live crowd would have been on their feet cheering "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

Trump asked Rodman immediatlely what he thought of Jesse James calling him out (for being an alcoholic) in the boardroom. Dennis said, "I thought it was chicken "crap"... and why you talking about you can't get no money... you wife makes twenty-mother-fuckin-million dollars a movie..."

Jesse James responded with, "If you weren't so stupid you'd know I said something because I care about you..." Donald Trump stepped in here because, well it's just not nice to call someone stupid. Like anything about this season of Celebrity Apprentice has been 'nice'.

Here are the highlights of what went down tonight on the Celebrity Apprentice finale.

Teams
Joan Rivers
Clint Black
Herschel Walker
Melissa Rivers

Annie Duke
Dennis Rodman
Tom Green
Brande Roderick

Task: Silent Auction - Theme for Kodak Limited Edition Picture Frame
There were also tickets to Cirque De Soliel. Not sure what that had to do with anything, but hey, it's very cool.

Of course there were the obligatory decorations and room set up to endure. Working with a prima donna of an event's planner, Joan Rivers was getting nowhere. She asked the event's planner hired by the Celebrity Apprentice producers to work with a friend of hers who is a designer and the guy quit... on the show! Nice customer service.

Annie Duke suffered from the 'wrath' of Joan Rivers by losing the same event planning service who would only speak of the ordeal off camera. Annie Duke filled in everyone within hearing distance.. "my event coordinator quit because Joan Rivers is so awful..." over and over.

Clint Black was a complete non-factor in the task. He blamed it on the editor's and said tonight that he'd like to fire them. Really though, no money for anyone else's charity? Seriously? I realize all of your contacts are in Nashville and Texas.. they have these big things now called air-o-planes, check them out at the air-port (it's like a giant garage with a lot of driveways). By the way, money travels relatively free on this here Internet (while you are checking your email).

Annie Duke chose her team like any good manipulator. She opted for those she knew she could control, and did so like a master. They even knew they were being played and could do nothing to stop it, though Tom Green tried. I finally found him really funny tonight. He and Dennis Rodman had some ridiculously funny moments in their short time on screen tonight. After being ignored for too long by Annie Duke and Brande Roderick, Dennis Rodman called Annid Duke (standing in front of him) and said, "If you need anything, we are standing right behind you..."

While Annie Duke's style of micromanagement seemed to have cost her the task, I think she was doomed from the start. Going up against a personal friend of Donald Trump's, and playing for an off-shore charity. I think Doyle Brunson would have told you to fold. Annie Duke can not be sold short for her tenacity and fundraising ability. She did bring in the cash. Joan's point was that it was cash from people who don't need it. True, but it's still cash. Annie Duke raised over $465,000 for Refugees International.

Joan got the most out of Melissa and Herschel Walker. Their auction was not as 'classy' as Annie Duke's, but it was fun. Joan Rivers won over $150,000 for God's Love We Deliver.

Though Annie Duke crushed Joan in money raising, that was only one of five criteria. The final score was Joan 3 - Annie 2.

Peirs Morgan and Trace Atkins returned to the live boardroom. Both picked Joan Rivers to win the final prize.

Here is what we learned from this season of Celebrity Apprentice.
1. When you are in your 70's and have worked hard your entire life, it sometimes pays off.
2. People don't like to be 'read' and played. They really don't like to be told they've been 'read'.