The Apprentice: Kelly Gets the Cab Ride Home

Tonight’s episode of The Apprentice was not so much dramatic as it was funny. Well, it was a little sad really. Tasked with setting up a pedicab business in downtown NYC, the teams faced off. Clint went after David from the get go, and deservedly so. In the end, it was the ladies (term used loosely) that wound up in the boardroom, and Kelly that got fired.

The Project Managers were chosen by the teams. Anand for team Octane, and Kelly for team Fortitude. Then the real fun (and some of the best quotes from Clint) began.

The men on team Octane decided to go for a Roman chariot themed pedicab ride to bring in the tourist. It was a great idea and was executed to near perfection. They seemed to have all gears working... except for crazy Dave.

Clint quote #1: “I’ve been to a couple of cock fights and a monkey wrestling, and I’ve never seen the likes of David.”


While the other men got into their characters and took the task as seriously as they could, Dave opted to leisurely ride his hostages..er, patrons, around while telling them his life story. No matter how much Clint tried to kick him into some sort of work ethic, nothing mattered to Dave.

The women, on the other hand tried to use whatever womanly wiles they had to get patrons. The team decided on the name “Babes on Bikes” and dressed in skimpy outfits. Kelly, the PM did not even pass training on the bike. She was forced to sit and try to market the team. She mostly did, well, not much.

Stephanie chose the location for the women, Wall Street. Now, I’m from Iowa and even I know this is NOT the place to find tourists. As the rest of the team started to doubt the location, Stephanie stood strong on her choice. Kelly was somewhere, doing something... I think. She certainly was not leading the team though.

It was obvious from very early on that the men had won the task. In the boardroom, before Donald Trump even had a chance to say anything, Clint went to work on getting David off the team and the show in general.

Clint quote #2: “Dave is the most classless, schizophrenic human... I implore you to rid us of this plague.”

Donald Trump was impressed with Clint’s passionate hatred for David. When Dave tried to combat Clint’s verbal attack, he was punched with another zinger.

Clint quote #3: “David can’t find his rear end in the bathtub when it comes to business.”
and
Clint quote #4: “You couldn’t get a job as an oompa-loompa selling gobstoppers.”
and
Clint quote #5: “I choose my words precisely and ‘loopy’ and ‘nut’ apply to you.”

Man that was some good times in The Apprentice boardroom! Donald Trump took a cop out though, stating, “If you win, I can’t fire David.” Um, yes you can Donald. You’ve made it quite clear that you can do anything you want in your boardroom. Anand and Steuart even spoke up saying they call David “the virus”. To no avail. The men trounced the women by an astounding amount: $320 to $950. Off went David with a big smirk on his face.

With the women left in the boardroom, the cat fighting started. Stephanie immediately back pedaled on her being in charge of the location. Granted Kelly did not do much during the task, but the location was Stephanie’s choice.

Mahsa jumped on the “throw Liza under the bus” rant again. This week for no reason other than Liza is not in her little clique. The other ladies began to chant Liza as well, but Donald Trump saw through it this week.

Kelly brought Stephanie and Liza into the boardroom with her to face Trump. This was pretty much a lock that she would leave The Apprentice tonight. Stephanie is far too strong of an arguer to let Kelly or Liza get over on her. In nearly record time, Donald Trump fired Kelly from The Apprentice tonight.

Now I have to say that the longer Mahsa (who must be the center of attention on every task though she seems to do very little), and David (who is just bat-shit crazy), stay on The Apprentice, the more respect I lose for the show.

At this point there needs to be a surprise twist next week. Donald Trump, please call in your casting director and give them the “You’re Fired” treatment. It’s only fair. You insult our intelligence to think that you would ever consider most of these candidates for a position, in any capacity, with your company.

We are watching The Apprentice jump the shark this season and it’s sad. What started as a great business show that taught us something every week has turned into a poor replica of Hell’s Kitchen.

Please Donald Trump, do us all a favor and fire all but Clint, Steuart and Anand next week and let the real show start.
 

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