Celebrity Apprentice 2 Finale: Joan Rivers Gets Hired by Trump

Celebrity Apprentice Finale Showdown
Annie Duke vs Joan Rivers
NBC 7/8c 5/10/2009

In a three hour Celebrity Apprentice dramathon finale, Donald Trump finally uttered the words...

"Joan Rivers, you're hired!"

Ok, now I'm not saying it was fixed or anything, but Joan Rivers has admitted to 'knowing' the people that Annie Duke works for. She has also stated that Annie Duke's 'people' are 'Mafia' people... are you following me here?!

All kidding aside, congratulations Joan Rivers and God's Love We Deliver. Winning an additional $250,000 in prize money from the Celebrity Apprentice.

Donald Trump milked the drama for all it was worth and even took it to a Jerry Springer level at one point. Pitting Dennis Rodman against Jesse James on live TV was not a good idea. No one won that battle and in another 3 seconds the live crowd would have been on their feet cheering "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

Trump asked Rodman immediatlely what he thought of Jesse James calling him out (for being an alcoholic) in the boardroom. Dennis said, "I thought it was chicken "crap"... and why you talking about you can't get no money... you wife makes twenty-mother-fuckin-million dollars a movie..."

Jesse James responded with, "If you weren't so stupid you'd know I said something because I care about you..." Donald Trump stepped in here because, well it's just not nice to call someone stupid. Like anything about this season of Celebrity Apprentice has been 'nice'.

Here are the highlights of what went down tonight on the Celebrity Apprentice finale.

Teams
Joan Rivers
Clint Black
Herschel Walker
Melissa Rivers

Annie Duke
Dennis Rodman
Tom Green
Brande Roderick

Task: Silent Auction - Theme for Kodak Limited Edition Picture Frame
There were also tickets to Cirque De Soliel. Not sure what that had to do with anything, but hey, it's very cool.

Of course there were the obligatory decorations and room set up to endure. Working with a prima donna of an event's planner, Joan Rivers was getting nowhere. She asked the event's planner hired by the Celebrity Apprentice producers to work with a friend of hers who is a designer and the guy quit... on the show! Nice customer service.

Annie Duke suffered from the 'wrath' of Joan Rivers by losing the same event planning service who would only speak of the ordeal off camera. Annie Duke filled in everyone within hearing distance.. "my event coordinator quit because Joan Rivers is so awful..." over and over.

Clint Black was a complete non-factor in the task. He blamed it on the editor's and said tonight that he'd like to fire them. Really though, no money for anyone else's charity? Seriously? I realize all of your contacts are in Nashville and Texas.. they have these big things now called air-o-planes, check them out at the air-port (it's like a giant garage with a lot of driveways). By the way, money travels relatively free on this here Internet (while you are checking your email).

Annie Duke chose her team like any good manipulator. She opted for those she knew she could control, and did so like a master. They even knew they were being played and could do nothing to stop it, though Tom Green tried. I finally found him really funny tonight. He and Dennis Rodman had some ridiculously funny moments in their short time on screen tonight. After being ignored for too long by Annie Duke and Brande Roderick, Dennis Rodman called Annid Duke (standing in front of him) and said, "If you need anything, we are standing right behind you..."

While Annie Duke's style of micromanagement seemed to have cost her the task, I think she was doomed from the start. Going up against a personal friend of Donald Trump's, and playing for an off-shore charity. I think Doyle Brunson would have told you to fold. Annie Duke can not be sold short for her tenacity and fundraising ability. She did bring in the cash. Joan's point was that it was cash from people who don't need it. True, but it's still cash. Annie Duke raised over $465,000 for Refugees International.

Joan got the most out of Melissa and Herschel Walker. Their auction was not as 'classy' as Annie Duke's, but it was fun. Joan Rivers won over $150,000 for God's Love We Deliver.

Though Annie Duke crushed Joan in money raising, that was only one of five criteria. The final score was Joan 3 - Annie 2.

Peirs Morgan and Trace Atkins returned to the live boardroom. Both picked Joan Rivers to win the final prize.

Here is what we learned from this season of Celebrity Apprentice.
1. When you are in your 70's and have worked hard your entire life, it sometimes pays off.
2. People don't like to be 'read' and played. They really don't like to be told they've been 'read'.

Dennis Rodman Called Out in Trump's Boardroom

Celebrity Apprentice Boardroom Turns Intervention
Dennis Rodman Fired by Trump
NBC Sunday 3/29

In what is shaping up to be a strange Celebrity Apprentice this year, Dennis Rodman fell victim to Donald Trump's firing hand last night. Dennis has had... issues with his work ethic since the start of the show. Trump gave Rodman the opportunity to show what he could do by making him project manager for the men. It was not pretty.

The task involved each team acting as a posh hotel staff to a few lucky (or not) guests. The ladies team have been crushing the men since the start of the season, winning all but one task easily. This week was not going to be any different.

The truly hard workers are all that are left on the guys' team: Clint Black, Brian McKnight, Jesse James and Hershel Walker. To be fair, Scott Hamilton should be included though he was eliminated early.

The ladies team is still brimming with: Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers, Annie Duke, Brande Roderick, Kloe Kardashian, Natilie Gulbis, Tionne Watkins.

Last night the odd season got even more odd as we saw the deterioration of a one-time superstar. Dennis Rodman started the day as Project Manager by drinking vodka/cranberry (that and screwdrivers are a drunks best friend... lots of non-smelling alcohol and juice for color). Rodman then appeared to drink his way (two at a time) through the day. He then jumped in the team car with a couple of the hotel visitors and showed them a night they will not soon forget.

The ladies team put on a stellar performance as usual. The editors had to really dig to find the problems. Stephen Baldwin made an appearance, apparently to show how stupid he is. He was nothing but insulting and rude. Joan Rivers took control for the most part and smoothed over everything. She has certainly not proved to be the diva they touted prior to the show airing.

Dennis Rodman was called out for having a drinking problem as soon as the boardroom started. Jesse James, the only one honest and forthright enough to state the obvious did just that immediately. He did not do it in an accusing fashion. Just the opposite. You could see the emotion in Jesse's face and body language as he could not even look at Dennis once things got started.

Every person in Trump's boardroom looked extremely uncomfortable, but no one wanted to stop it either. Dennis Rodman showed America what it is like to be or work/live with an alcoholic. It is not fun. It is not funny.

Like every addict, Rodman pointed out that Jesse James knows a little something about partying. James admitted that he was an alcoholic and has not had a drink in nine years. Which puts him in the position of spotting all the signs of a drinking problem. Jesse was genuinely concerned about the well being of Dennis. Telling Donald Trump that he was sitting between two of the greatest athletes ever, Hershel Walker and Dennis Rodman, and "just look at the difference." When you meet Hershel Walker, it is so much more than you thought it was going to be. When you meet Dennis Rodman, there is disappointment.

There was really no choice for Donald Trump. Even if the ladies had won, he had to fire Dennis Rodman.

Dennis Rodman has one defense mechanism and that is pure survival mode. He appears to be just surviving enough to see tomorrow, and if not he thinks he went out fighting. You are not fight Dennis... you are running. Big difference.

If you wonder if you or someone you know has a drinking problem, take this test: When Weekend Drinking Means Alcoholism